Spiritual Diaries Part One

(Note; I was very young in my Christian life when I wrote these. I was fresh from revival in the AOL chatroom, and my life began to change in Christ. I have matured since then, and no longer look to experiences and false CCM music. In short, I grew up.)

I had copied and pasted these from email files I had written to send out to people. That is why they are shifted to the left side. Sadly, to my knowledge, only one person truly appreciated them.

March 3, 2003

There are times in life when we wonder just what to believe. We know the world has its own agendas, opinions and falsehoods. I do not have to remind you that in these last hours on earth we will be faced with temptation to believe in false doctrine.


On too many occasions have I been in this situation, and come just short of falling into a pit of lies, only to experience the saving and forgiving power of Christ Jesus. He did say that in the end times we should be careful to not be deceived, as false Christs will assume they can win us over with their smooth talk and compromising teachings.


I admit I was victimized by satan just recently, and even now he seeks a way to drag me down into his hell. But Jesus rescued me, as He is always faithful to do, and I learned yet one more lesson on keeping focused on His face alone.


There are so many hungering for spiritual enlightenment. People are searching for peace and a reason to live. The time is opportune for satan to strike, just as it was when Jesus Christ hung dying on the cross. And I will add that it is also the opportune time for revival as never before experienced in man's history. Jesus is waiting in the wings, listening for the Father to give His word to come back and bring us home. If only you would daily, even, momentarily, ask God to remind you that it is He Who is in control of all things, and it is He Who has the final word. Nothing, no power on earth or in heaven or hell, can change that.


We cannot know why, or how, or when the Almighty allows the things He does.. the death of a loved one, war, alternative lifestyles, whatever... We often want to know if he is such a good God, and eschews evil, then why does He allow these bad things? The reason for that is sin. We are born in it, we are guilty of it all our life, and we will die in it, unless Jesus becomes our Savior. And we are guilty of judgment if we continue in sin, unless Jesus becomes our Lord.


God Almighty left it up to us to decide, whether to follow His ways, or man's ways. Goodness vs. evil. Eternal life vs. eternal punishment. You decide. I will say it for the umpteenth time. When we die, and face the bema seat, we must give an account of what we did and said in our lifetimes. God will ask, "What did you do with My Son, the One Whom I had given for you?" Are you at peace today with that?


You cannot hide from God. Nor can you get away with believing in, and living for, anything but His word. Hebrews 4:12  For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.


This is a sobering fact, people. God knows your every thought, idea, plan, whim, fantasy and dream. He cannot be fooled, nor can He be mocked. He does not dwell in darkness, but in Light. Everything is exposed in His sight. I tell you again, as Jesus did so many years ago, and tells us still.. Be careful you are not decieved!


Stay focused on God and His word. Read it. Memorize it. Stand on its promises, and you will find yourself looking at things from a higher place. Just as you must feed the body with physical food, so must you feed your spirit with the word. And have no regrets, because He loves you more than you can imagine.


Father, thank You for using me this day. May Your name be glorified in all things, through Jesus Christ, amen.





October 20, 2003


There is great burden on my heart these days. We are living in a time of great change. The Book of Revelation is literally being unfolded and taking place before our eyes, and people are being moved either forward unto Jesus, or backward unto hell.


I have said before that people are hungering for something more, something new in their lives that will make a difference. This war against the powers of the enemy is just one of the birth pangs that are ushering in, right now, the coming of the King. Wars and rumors of wars, just as Jesus said.


I know you may have heard this many times before, but it is happening. For those who are young in the faith like me, it is hard to grasp. But indeed so. Just look in the Bible. Last book. Revelation. That means, "revealing". God is revealing, or making known, those events which will happen at the end of the world.


May I be blunt? I didn't believe it at first. I was scared, perhaps even doubtful. Nahh, that's not gonna happen till after I'm long gone, right? Guess what. Only God All-Powerful knows how long my and your life is, and will be. I could get hit by a truck after I get out the door. You can trip down the steps and suffer a broken neck after you visit the bathroom. We just don't know what will happen to us, unless we consult the Word.


We MUST be armed with the whole armor of God AT ALL TIMES (Ephesians 6:13). Cause I'll tell you, my friend, satan aint going to sleep, nor is he going to give up. He is desperate. He's going to chase you, and hound you, and say all kinds of things that are not the truth, just to bring you down into his hell. DO NOT fall victim to his lies. He knows his time is short, and growing ever shorter. Jesus beat him at the cross, but he just can't get that through his thick skull. But we, in believing that Jesus Christ indeed has him under foot, are freed from satan's tyranny.


GOD IS IN CONTROL OF ALL, EVEN THE WORKS OF SATAN. Nothing, not one detail, happens without the Almighty's knowing it. We DON'T HAVE to live in fear during these end times. In Christ, we have hope, a truly blessed hope, that we will soon see Him coming in clouds of glory, surrounded by His angels. We have the promise of being caught up with Him in the air (1 Thessalonians 4:17), never having to be tied to this miserable earth again. We have the assurance that we will know Him face to face, and reign with Him forever. I know this sounds incredible, but it is true.


I have noticed in the movie "Jesus of Nazareth" that the actor playing Christ is constantly gazing heavenward. Especially when He was before Pilate. What does this tell us? It means that even in His most wretched hour of suffering, even Jesus sought the Father's face, the Father's comfort, and the relief and relishment of the Father's presence. How could we not imitate the same?


When you go out, look up. Don't look down. Look towards the heavens. Make it a habit of turning your eyes upward and giving thanks for just one more day to live for Him.  Don't put it off. Who knows? You really may see Jesus.  


Father God, thank You for using me this day, to exalt Your Name, and to edify Your people. May You be forever praised and glorified, in Jesus Christ Name, amen.



March 24, 2003

There is a growing wealth of the miraculous in the world, if you have the eyes to see it. Before, you didn't see people huddled in prayer very often, unless they were in their homes or inside a church. But as the above image clearly shows, the prayer warriors are advancing.


Evidence of the power of God is fanning out from the houses of worship, reaching out to the four corners of the earth. God's army is on the march!  He is our Commander, and our Father. He hears all prayers from His children: from soldiers to housewives, construction workers to desk jockeys, children to the elderly. He is even present on the Internet! I personally thank God for that!


There are growing numbers of those who no longer are concerned with what people think, just as long as they spend time in communion with their Savior and Lord. It is also potent evidence that God is everywhere and in all. Just look at the situation we are in now. Don't you think we NEED prayer, in this war time? I say, AMEN! We can pray anytime, and we can do it alone or with others. From contrite hearts, desperate cries ascend to the heavens, and the Almighty hears. He leaves His mighty throne and searches out the worshipers, and then, oh! the wondrous presence of God!


But we must be careful. God hears the prayers of the righteous, and those of the repentant. However, He will not listen to long-drawn-out speeches brought forth by an unflattering tongue, or ungrateful heart. (Luke 18:10-13) And He certainly does not approve of His highest creation making a fool of Him in taunts, or turning a cold shoulder to His love. Jesus already endured all that, and He paid the price, for us. Our knees must bow in humbleness before Him, and our lips utter praises to His name. He dwells in our praises, and is in the midst of those gathered there.


God is a holy God. He has many names: El-Shaddai. Jehovah-Jireh. Adonai. King of kings, and Lord of lords. The Great I AM. He is our Creator, and our Provider. He deserves our worship. We were created specifically to serve and worship Him, because He loves us, and gave us life. Once more I will say it: God will not be mocked. For those who think they can con God Almighty into being a pushover, and not bat an eye, you've got another thing coming. Swift judgment is yours in the end.


These are times of desperation, my friends. Do you have the peace of the Lord Jesus in your heart, or should you tremble in fear at the One Who can kill the body and the soul? Are you confident that your prayers are heard? Or do you treat Him like a cheap fake idol, the use of to your own selfish gain? Repent. Get on your knees and pray the prayer that God will most certainly give ear to. "O Lord, I am a sinner. I repent of my sin. Forgive me, through the shed blood of Your Son, Jesus Christ." Then THANK HIM for His mercy, for He desires NONE to perish.


We cannot afford to straddle the fence, or side with the enemy. Get right with God today, and open your eyes to His miracles. Jesus loves you very much. Do it for Him.


Father, thank You for speaking through me, and giving me these words. I pray they are heard with humility, and taken with soft and repentant hearts. May Your powerful Son, the Lord Jesus, bless these dear ones, and give them peace and strength in these end times. I praise You, Lord God, for even one more name written in the Book of Life, and one more miracle in our eyes. Thank You, Lord. Through Jesus Christ I pray, amen.

We all need a Savior. Jesus Christ, God in human flesh, came to pay the ransom for us on the cross. He took on our sin, and shed His precious blood, and was raised from death; so you and I could be forgiven, healed, and have everlasting life. Pray this simple prayer now, and be born again. Jesus is holding out his hand, ready to save.                                                                                                     


"O God, I know I am a sinner. I ask You to forgive me, and to come and live in my heart. I believe You are the Christ, the One Who saves. I accept You as my Lord and Savior as of right now. Thank You, Lord Jesus, for saving my soul. In Jesus' Name, amen."




April 3, 2003


What can you do when you are frustrated with life? When you have nothing but questions, whose answers seem far away or absent? When the heavens are as brass, and God seems to have turned away?


Living in this world can be pretty difficult. "Can be," hah! It IS difficult, and it doesn't get any better. It's times like this I have to thank Jesus for being my life. For being the bridge to God Almighty, so that I can live holy for Him.


Those who do not know Him are referred to as "lost", with good reason. The have no direction, and no hope. They live God-less lives and are destined to a God-less eternity. No wonder they are miserable, leading empty lives without real peace, joy or satisfaction. Only Christ can give peace, true peace that passes all human understanding. But if we don't do our part and seek Him out, then it is our own fault. After all, He offers it to us daily.


Most people though are too blinded by their own corrupt ways to see His hand reaching out to them. I pity these people. To dwell upon the fact that God's very creation, His highest and most loved, can shun Him, and claim He doesn't exist, even mock His very nature.. well that just blows me away, people.


I must give thanks to the Almighty One for His patience and endless love to us, even to those who aren't of Him. He causes the rain to fall on the just and the unjust. Through His tears and groaning, Jesus intercedes for us still before the Father in heaven. Now that's mercy. That's grace.


I often marvel at the way the Lord sustains my husband. Unbeliever he is, and is paying for his unbelief in misery, without Jesus Christ to guide him.. yet God in His sovereignity still causes him to provide for his family, so much that I am amazed at His great abundance. I dare not question it, nor do I start "wondering why" things go well for us. I merely give thanks. We are simply blessed, because the Blood of Jesus covers this home.


You are blessed too, if you know Jesus as your Savior. You are happy because He is your Lord. Tried, but not taken, weary, yet not consumed. Who are we to ask why? I cannot linger on the badness of this world, because I don't belong here.. and someday I will indeed go to heaven, where my treasures are laid. To walk the streets of gold and drink from the everlasting waters that flow from God's very throne. To be surrounded by His family, and my loved ones. Till then we mustn't lose hope. A Godly friend told me once, "Never get tired of doing good." I shan't forget that.


Boy, there are days when I am tempted to throw in the towel. Haven't we all had those valley days, when God prunes us, and we unnecessarily suffer, more than wholeheartedly rejoice? But Father God has all your answers, my friend. More than you will ever know. Go to Him now in prayer. Lift up your heart, and allow Him to heal your hurts, and restore your life. He is on the throne, unchanged. He is in charge, forever. And He will never leave us or forsake us. Count on it.


Heavenly Father, I thank You so much for using me here. Surely You are an awesome God, Who takes the lambs in His arms and carries them the whole day through. You are the Answer to all life's difficulties and afflictions, Lord, and You care. More than we can ask or think. Oh Father, how I love You. Help us, O Lord. Through Your mighty Spirit, teach us to be grateful for the valley times, when Your strength is indeed in our weakness. We offer our thanks for Your presence right here, right now. May Your holy Name, JESUS, be praised forever and ever. Thank You, my God, for this day. In Jesus' Name, amen.




Next Page: Spiritual Diaries Part 2

Part 3

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